The Show is Over

It came as a shock and great disappointment to me when I recently got wind of the break-up of one of my favorite couples. Of course, I am in no position to make any further comments whatsoever on how the relationship went and what transpired in the events leading to the break-up, as I have no business commenting on the same; but this event made me realize some things, which I need to put in writing. After all, my friends know that I am most affected by these goings-on, although I tend not to appear as such.

Relationships turn sour once in a while, caused mainly by the fact that one of the parties or both parties in the relationship outgrow one another. Most of the time, this feeling can be remedied by time-off, or conversely, by spending more time together. Indeed, the strength of a relationship is best judged at the time when the creeping feeling of boredom [and outgrowing] comes into the picture. Couples may choose to face this feeling head-on, or may choose to deny it. Either way, there are times where no matter how hard couples try to keep the sinking ship afloat, shit happens, and a break-up is imminent. Nevertheless, the maturity and depth of understanding of the parties in the relationship is evidenced by the way they handle the break-up. Barring the initial alcohol binges and sleepless nights, parties to a GOOD relationship know when to throw in the towel, realizing that IF and SHOULD the parties get together at some future time, such will be an ENTIRELY NEW relationship built on a new-found understanding of themselves and one another. It will be a relationship where, although the parties may be the same, the personalities are different, and as such, different rules apply altogether. It will not exactly be a back-to-square-one affair, but rather, a fast-tracked getting-to-know-the-new-you process. I know there is nothing novel to what I'm saying, but it pays to be reminded once in a while that relationships, like life, can be all ice cream and cake; but, too much of it can give one a serious LBM problem.

A truly mature person coming from a recent break-up is one who has enjoyed eating all the ice cream and cake, seen the circus come to town, partied all night long, and when all things turn quiet, says to himself, "the show is over, time to go home."

Godfather Part I

I received a birthday e-mail from an old friend, i.e., my Godfather Part I [in the words of one of my buddies], which surprised me considering that we haven't seen nor spoken to each other since 2003 [when I went on a crazy U.S. trip with my friends]. She was in New York, and was apparently doing fine. I was doing fine, too. Since I saw her last, I've been wanting so much to talk to her--the way we did years before. We've had many a profound conversation, but our best conversations were those we had while we were driving around aimlessly in my car, or when we were dancing the night away in the disco [pumped up on something]. Weird, but we carried on the way we did. And we were happy.

Then she left. And with a heavy heart, i bade her bon voyage. It is truly saddening for having someone you truly care for leave. But the pain of being left behind lies not in the fact of being left behind per se, but rather, the possibility of being forgotten. This, i conjecture, is the root of melancholia. And truth to tell, I suppose a lot of people, including myself, have, in one point of their lives, been afflicted by it.

In her email to me, she said that she missed me so. And, in an act that was totally out of character, I replied in the same way [I am rarely cheesy]. Because I did and do miss her. And I'm sure that she really does miss me. For once in the three years of oblivion, I have come to realize this--there is a joy in being left behind, and an excitement, too. The joy lies in the affirmation that after being tormented by the demons of the forgotten, you have actually been remembered. Likewise, the excitement lies in the tingling sensation one feels when he/she knows that an old flame has been rekindled. It is the knowledge that you have been, and will always be, in someone else's heart.

Lady Junkie

You know the answers to all your silly questions. You know why I haven't been seeing anyone since then. You know what my type of girl is. You know who I really like [although I'm not too sure if you really wanna hear it]. And you know why I've been like this ever since.

You know that years ago, when I asked you, you said that I was late. And you asked me if I knew what I was talking about [considering that it was 6am and we just got home completely woozy and inebriated from a wild night at the then hippest bar in the area]. And you knew that I completely knew what I was talking about. You knew that it wasn't the alcohol talking-it was me. Only me.

You also knew that I had my pride. You knew that even when you asked me to ask you again when I woke up sober, I wouldn't call again to ask. You knew that I would act as if nothing ever happened. You also knew that we would both carry on with our lives and move on.

So please stop bothering me with your silly questions. :)