Lady Junkie

You know the answers to all your silly questions. You know why I haven't been seeing anyone since then. You know what my type of girl is. You know who I really like [although I'm not too sure if you really wanna hear it]. And you know why I've been like this ever since.

You know that years ago, when I asked you, you said that I was late. And you asked me if I knew what I was talking about [considering that it was 6am and we just got home completely woozy and inebriated from a wild night at the then hippest bar in the area]. And you knew that I completely knew what I was talking about. You knew that it wasn't the alcohol talking-it was me. Only me.

You also knew that I had my pride. You knew that even when you asked me to ask you again when I woke up sober, I wouldn't call again to ask. You knew that I would act as if nothing ever happened. You also knew that we would both carry on with our lives and move on.

So please stop bothering me with your silly questions. :)

Planet of the Apes

My gun-wielding driver looks like an ape. And I hate it. What's worse is, he has the brain of an ape, too. That's why it's an agony everyday going to and from work, or on weekend nights, when I go out--for the simple fact that I have to put up with his being, "slow".

I particularly hate it whenever I navigate and tell him where to go, and he always repeats what I say, albeit in the interrogative. The fuck. It's either my voice is too soft [which I highly doubt], he is fucking hearing impaired [which I doubt, too], or his tiny brain can't process my instructions as quickly as that of an ordinary human being. It's simply irritating.

He also suffers from a terrible amnesia of sorts for both the long and short-term memory. He forgets the directions to places where I usually go to [in some cases, even if I went there the day before]! Notwithstanding the fact that I've been to X's house a million times, Y-bar a thousand or Z-mall a dozen, ape-man wouldn't even have the slightest recollection of how to get there, which is absolutely stupefying!

I miss my other driver. At least he follows orders. I once asked him never ever to cough in the car coz it distracts me when I'm deep in thought [or awakens me when I'm asleep]. And he never did, even if he really badly needed to cough that his face turned red. And he knew the directions of the places I wanted to go to.

Good help is indeed hard to come by nowadays. I guess we simply have to be content with the quality of help we have.

I Have No Time For Your Sad Stories

If we are not friends, please do not attempt to tell [or burden] me with your sad stories. It is totally irksome, and I simply have no time to listen to whatever misfortune life has brought upon you. I have reserved my listening ear, my bleeding heart, as well as my helping hands to my family and circle of friends only. If you think you are in my circle, you are most likely mistaken. Because those within my circle know that they're in, for the simple reason that I make them feel it and convey to them my sentiments in no uncertain terms.

I guess I am to blame to some extent, too. People often tell me that I come across as approachable and friendly...or to some extent, I appear to be a person who will take time out to listen to one's problems or be the proverbial shoulder to cry on. For this, I am deeply sorry for any inconvenience that your misconception has caused you. I didn't mean to come across that way. Please don't think that I'm a heartless bastard, though. I'd like to believe that I have a big heart. And I go the extra mile for my family and friends. But I am only human, and my resources are finite. So I can't go helping around every tom, dick and harry who needs a shoulder to cry on or a helping hand. Find your own friends.I'm sure they'll be more than willing to listen to your sad stories. Anyway, whether or not you find a friend to victimize, I wish you well and hope that your problems ain't too bad.

What Law Firm Partners Really Know

I'm sure all associates in law firms will agree. Our bosses, i.e., the Partners, only know as much as their associates. I venture to add that they might even know less than we do, considering that, in the course of our legal research, we usually come across information that, although irrelevant for the memos we prepare [and are thus not sent to the Partner for review], add to the [lack of] information our sorry little law schools were so benevolent enough to provide us. By the way, for those who do not know how a law firm works, here's a brief step-by-step heads up:

1. A client meets with a Partner to discuss a legal problem. This is usually at a fancy resto or hotel. Client pays the bill, of course, but I'm sure you already knew this.

2. Partner goes back to the office and calls an associate to his/her room. After making the associate wait outside his/her room for half an hour while the Partner surfs the internet, chats with a friend, or does whatever the hell he/she wants, the associate is called into the room. Partner then explains the problem of the client and asks the associate to draft a memo on how the problem should be solved. Partner tells the associate to prioritze the memo and give it to him/her before the end of business hours. It is 4:35pm. For those who do not know, the earliest end of business hours for law firms is 10:00pm. [Ridiculous.]

3. Associate then rushes to research and draft the memo and submits to the Partner [who has already left for dinner with some friends or clients]. Associate sends to the Partner by email, but after several hours of waiting for a reply, the associate figures that the Partner has already fallen asleep. It is 435am.

4. The following morning, the associate receives the memo from the Partner with the inscriptions on the top of the page "OK".

As can be seen from the above, associates, in a very real sense, really control the knowledge that Partners have. Partners very rarely check the contents of memos submitted to them. They simply have no time. After all, lunches out [and/or golf/squash/racket ball games] with clients are billable, so any time spent researching or studying their associates' memos may substantially reduce potential profit for the firm. In other words, the Partners simply rely heavily on the output given by their associates.

Nevertheless, Partners have experience, and that should count for something, right? Nah. While years of experience may tend to give partners an edge in terms of practical knowledge, this fact doesn't prove that associates are less capable in this regard. After all, it is the associate who does all the leg work--i.e., "liaising"[read: corrupting] with government officials, thinking of the best structure to avoid [read: evade] taxes, and the like. Partners merely want things implemented based on the recommendations of their associates. They don't want to do it themselves, however. They have associates to do it for them. So much for practical knowledge, huh?

So, if Partners lack both academic and practical knowledge, what do they really know? Nothing. But the beauty of being Partner is that you can look/appear as if you know every friggin' law in this jurisdiction! In fact, if you dress even more sharply or look even more dapper, you could even come across as knowing the laws of other jurisdictions! It's totally insane! In this profession, form is everything--substance is [next to] nothing. The trick is, to come across as knowing the law, or, if a client asks a particularly difficult question, knowing how to tritely say, "I'll get back to you on that", without coming across as being totally clueless. At the end of the day, the Partner simply asks an associate to look into the query of the client, and the client gets billed. Meanwhile, the Partner has lunch at a fancy resto or hotel, or plays golf/squash/racket ball, or does whatever the hell he/she wants.

Someday, if I stay my course, I'll be a Partner, too. Then, I'll review this blog to see if all of the above are true.

I know. I know.

I know what you're saying. I'm eating my words, yet again.

Who would have ever thought that I would end up doing what I swore I would never do---create my own blog. But then again, come to think of it, I have done many things which I thought I would never venture doing. [Take my friendster account, for example. I previously made a very public declaration to my law school classmates (yes, I'm a friggin' lawyer) that I would never ever join the bandwagon and create my very own friendster account. In fact, I still maintain that I was unduly forced by my fellow associates in the law firm where I work to create my account early in 2004. But now, I regularly check the account and spy on other people who have accounts. It's completely ridiculous.]

Anyway, I kinda thought that blogs were avenues where women with guy [or girl] problems could rant all they want under the cover of anonimity. There is, after all, a glut of blogspots featuring women who talk mostly about their crushes, as well as other similar cheesy things. Hence, my initial conclusions had, at the very least, some foundation. Nevertheless, I have stumbled across several blogs, particularly friendster blogs that are both interesting and insightful to read. I love reading those blogs, although never to a point where I'm inspired to create my own. It's so much fun reading about what other people think, how other people are, and forming pre-conceived notions about them, without opening yourself up to judgment. There's a sense of power in that, I think. But that's another blog topic altogether.

What made me decide to have my very own blog, however, is a recent book that I read. It was written in the form of a blog interspersed with several email exchanges. A good read, I must say. In the book, the fictional blog-writer uses his blog to diss the people around him. That may have gotten him into a lot of trouble, but in the end, he ends up getting what he wants [or so he makes us think]. Pretty simple story, if you ask me. Too simple, in fact. But that's how I want my story to be...to be able to be the guy with horns and a pitchfork, and yet to get everything I want. Brilliant.